Why Am I Watching the PWHPA Secret Dream Gap Tour?

I grew up in a sports culture that normalizes the disparities between men and women athletes. I grew up in a sports culture where changing in a small cubicle with one plastic chair while the rest of the boys on my team changed in an actual locker room was normal. I grew up watching the SportsCenter Top 10 every morning before school never once seeing a female athlete or team depicted. But that’s okay, because that was the norm. Boys played on TV; girls weren’t good enough. I grew up hearing “You play hockey? But, you’re a girl?” so much that it became white noise to my ears. I grew up within the mentality imposed on me by society and sports media, which maintained that hockey was synonymous with the masculine and that I, as a young girl, was the anomaly. I should just be grateful for getting the chance to play. I should be grateful for that little cubicle. I shouldn’t push my luck. Well... That little girl grew up and she’s starting to push that luck of hers.

Let me preface this by saying that I love hockey and I am, by no means, ungrateful for everything it brought to me. I had an amazing university experience playing at the varsity level for Concordia and I am extremely cognizant of the many privileges I had as a female student athlete. I realize that opportunities for women in sports have come a long way but there is still a long, arduous road ahead. However, for many members of the sports world, this road lurks in the shadows, veiled by norms and constraints imposed by a mentality that downgrades the value of women as athletes. I don’t blame sports fans because they've merely fallen victim to what they’re used to and to how the media chooses to portray women athletes. How could one not succumb to these biases when it’s the norm that female sports only receive 4% of media coverage? Or, when comments like “no one would have watched anyway” after the IIHF World Championship got canceled are to be expected because the idea that women’s sports generate less buzz & viewership is the norm. I grew up immersed in this culture, which made me believe gearing up in a plastic chair or hardly seeing female athletes on TV was normal and I never questioned it.

"It's time that we, as female hockey players, become our own biggest advocates. It's time that we, as sports fans, recognize the value, talent and tenacity that women athletes bring to sports."

But, it’s come to my attention that change will not come about by remaining stagnant and being satisfied with “good enough” or “better than it was”. It’s time we start questioning, it’s time to push our luck because how else will we move forward? It's time that we, as female hockey players, become our own biggest advocates. It's time that we, as sports fans, recognize the value, talent and tenacity that women athletes bring to sports. I may have grown up in a sports culture that normalized the inferiority of my worth, but I will do whatever I can so that my future daughter won’t have to.

That is my reason for watching the PWPHA Secret Dream Gap tour. What’s yours?

Alex Nikolidakis